


The Exalted Age Paddle

by Manicorn



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: BDSM, Boys Being Boys, Dare, Embarrassment, M/M, Magic, Muscles, Nudity, Paddling, Qunari (Dragon Age) Kink, Role Reversal, Small Dom/Big Sub, Spanking, a dumb bet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:55:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manicorn/pseuds/Manicorn
Summary: Varric finds an ancient spanking paddle inside a Carta treasure vault. But who to use it on, when the only other guy around is Iron Bull...?A Dragon Age spanking story.
Relationships: The Iron Bull & Varric Tethras, The Iron Bull/Varric Tethras
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	The Exalted Age Paddle

**Author's Note:**

> This was commissioned by my wonderful friend Spunny. Thank you again!

"Wow..." Varric breathed as he held up an artifact from the mountain of treasure they'd been sifting through. "Do you have any idea what this is?"

They'd just finished clearing out a Carta hideout. This one had just happened to have several ancient dwarven heirlooms lying around—it was always fun when it worked out that way. So they were going through and cataloguing all of the good stuff before the Inquisition's main body arrived to turn the place into another base for their continued war against Corypheus.

Cassandra looked at what Varric was holding. She sniffed. "It appears to be a paddle."

"Not just any paddle!" He gave an experimental wave, and it made a _whoosh_ as it traveled through the air. "This was made in the Exalted Age! Look at this craftsmanship! Hell, this might be the paddle that swatted Paragon Ebryan himself!"

It did indeed look well-crafted. Forged from steel with a leather handle-grip, it bore a pictogram of the Legion of the Dead battling various demon-possessed darkspawn on it, along with artfully designed holes to lessen air resistance anywhere the darkspawn got cut down. Some unlucky craftsman had toiled ceaselessly to make it a work of art as well as a tool of punishment. Cassandra shrugged and went back to studying a dwarven blade she'd found. Iron Bull, however, did look up curiously. Varric noticed, and he grinned devilishly at him. "Alright Bull," he said, "Bend over."

"Hah!" The qunari snorted. "Nice try, shortstack."

"C'mon, I just want to try it out."

"Good luck with that. You know I'm all dom."

Varric held up a finger. "Ah ah ah, but you told me you submitted to those... whatstheirnames. Those tamassrans."

"Hey. That's different."

"Sure, but I'm just sayin'. You're not _all_ dom. No one is. C'mon Bull, you're the only other guy here."

"Ugh!" Cassandra rolled her eyes. "Come, Sera. Let us leave these two to their new toy."

"But... I kinda wanna stay and watch." Sera was looking back and forth between the dwarf and the qunari, grinning crookedly. All she needed was popcorn.

 _"Come."_ And Cassandra pulled her away. They left, with the elf complaining all the while. The two men were left alone.

Bull looked down at Varric evenly. "Since when do you care about old dwarven artifacts? Did you just bullshit that whole story about the Exalted Age?"

"Who knows." He gave a crooked grin. "It does make a good story though, doesn't it?"

"Heh." Bull folded his arms over his burly chest. "You must _really_ wanna bend me over."

"Would it bother you if I did?" Varric asked with just a hint of shrewdness.

The hulking man snorted and shook his head. "Nope. But let's just say bigger men than you have tried. Very few have succeeded."

"The Inquisitor?" Varric guessed.

But at that Iron Bull just smirked, and he shook his head again. "One of us does get spanked in our relationship... but it ain't me."

The dwarf grinned, and tapped the paddle against his palm. "Interesting. Well then, that just further justifies it's about time you _did_ get it then."

Bull had to guffaw at Varric still pushing the matter. "You serious?" he asked. But Varric just kept looking him up and down, smirking. Bull shook his head. "You're lucky I like you. Alright, you really want to do this? Bet your ass too," he challenged. "We'll do it on a coin flip. Loser gets paddled with his pants down. Bare ass. And I should warn ya, I don't go easy when I give swats."

"Deal," Varric said immediately. 

He dug in his pocket for a coin and took out a bright Orlesian silver. He balanced it on his thumb and held it up. "On three. One, two..."

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up just a minute!" The speed with which Varric had accepted made Bull nervous. He took the coin from him and examined it critically. He peered at its edges, and he tested the weight on his knuckles. Varric raised an eyebrow, but allowed him to complete the inspection. 

"Satisfied?" he asked sardonically when Bull handed it back.

The big qunari shrugged. "Hey. Can never be too careful."

"Uh huh. Okay, on three. One... two... three!"

His thumb flicked. The coin shot into the air. Both men's eyes followed it up. Its surface reflected the torch light—

"Heads," called Iron Bull.

"Tails," called Varric.

The coin reached the apex of its flight, sparkled, then dropped. It fell clattering to the flagstone, then spun on its side. Both guys hunkered down and watched, hands on their knees, waiting for it to fall one way or the other. Neither even realized they were holding their breath, not until the coin finally quivered, wobbled, and...

 _"FUCK!"_ Iron Bull said explosively.

Varric couldn't conceal a smug smirk as he looked up at him. "Looks like you lost."

"Hey, c'mon Varric. Best two outta three."

He shook his head. "Nope. Strip," he commanded.

"Strip?! Now hey—"

 _"You're_ the one who mandated it be bare ass."

So, with a great huff, Iron Bull stripped. What else could he do? A bet was a bet. He grumbled as he undid his big boots and kicked them off. He grumbled more as he undid the large leather belt holding his pants up. All the while, Varric's smile grew wider and wider. When Bull's pants dropped it became clear he hadn't been wearing any underwear. He glared Varric's way for a moment, daring the dwarf to say something, before he stomped over to a nearby desk, totally nude below the waist. He leaned over it and rested his elbows on top. That had the effect of pushing his backside right out.

"Alright," he muttered, "Just don't think this is gonna be a regular thing or nothin'."

"Oh, don't worry," Varric said distractedly. His eyes were traveling over untold leagues of gray, bare, and muscular qunari flesh. At his own height he'd always been about eye-level with Bull's backside wherever they went, and it'd proved distracting on many a climb. He'd long envisioned what the big guy might look like under his clothes. So far he wasn't disappointed. "I know this is a special occasion."

"Yeah, and one I'm regretting more by the minute," Bull said testily. When Varric simply kept staring and didn't respond right away, he grimaced and flexed his ass cheeks just to reclaim the dwarf's attention. "Hey! If you're done ogling, I think the agreement was one good paddling. So get to it. I better not have to show you how it's done."

Varric coughed. "Don't worry. I've practiced enough to pick up the basics," he said, hefting the paddle.

"Yeah?" Bull asked. He turned his head in spite of himself. "And who've you been spanking? That Hawke guy you used to run with?"

"Now Bull. You know some things are a trade secret."

"Tch. Figured." Bull turned back and braced himself. "Alright, then let's get it over with. I do not want Cassandra and Sera coming back while I've still got my pants down 'round my—YEARRGH!" He roared as a hard blow suddenly impacted hard right in the meatiest part of his rear. He gaped over his shoulder at the sight of Varric holding the paddle to his ass with both hands gripping the handle, like he was swinging a weighted mallet at a country fair. Bull could actually _feel_ the big red mark spreading across both his burly cheeks. "HEY! Warn a guy!"

"Oops. But I thought you wanted to get it over with," Varric said sweetly.

"You know what I mean. Just paddle me. Don't play mind games with me like a—AAURGH!" Another earth-shattering _THWACK!_ cut him off. This time it slammed right against the underside of his rear, where his ass met his thick thighs. _"Fuck!"_ He actually went up on his toes, an expression of pain flashing across his scarred, grizzled face. Several moments passed as he waited for the burn to subside. "Was that seriously only the second swat?"

"Damn, this paddle _is_ well made," Varric said admiringly.

"Yeah, _too_ well made. What the hell is it made out of, dragonbone!?"

"Nah. I think it's just really well-balanced," Varric said. He stood for a moment admiring Bull's big, beefy bottom, and the way the two reddish splotches were filling in. "Wanna call it quits here?"

For a moment the qunari grimaced... then he slowly hunkered down again. He arched his broad back and stuck out his butt as far as he could. "Nah. We agreed to a paddling. And nobody ever called two swats a paddling."

"True, but I know you're more used to giving than receiving. And I didn't even given you a warmup." Varric chuckled and drew the paddle back again. "If you need a safeword, you can always try 'Bianca'."

Bull snorted. "Sure, Tethras. Like I'm gonna use the name of your damn crossbo—ooOOOWW!" He roared again as the third swat nailed him right in the middle of his ass, overlapping the previous marks. He danced from side to side and tried to shake the sting out. But that just made Varric chuckle, and he started peppering Bull's ass with more swats every time he shifted position.

"Ow! Nngh! Gyah! Oh!"

"I dunno, Bull. I'm starting to think you're just one of those guys who can dish it out but can't take it. Maybe that's the real reason you don't let the Inquisitor spank you—because he'd see you wiggling around like an Antivan squid if he did."

"Aagh, screw you! I'm tellin' ya Varric! OH! That thing's gotta be magical, or cursed, or—OWWW!—or something! Nothing hurts this bad! Nothing!"

"Sure. Enchanted to make you wail like a stuck nug."

"Aauurgh!" Bull groaned, and his thick fingers dug into the mahogany wood of the desk as he clung to it. He set his jaw as he tried to keep his ass in position. More swats landed on the meaty globes, making them clench and wobble. "At least... nngh!—take it easy!"

Varric's grin just grew wider at the big mercenary leader actually pleading with him. "Hey, you're the one who asked for a real paddling. I wouldn't want to wound your warrior's pride by just giving lovetaps." And, as if to demonstrate, he drew back and landed three more ass-blistering swats. _SMACK! CRACK! WHAAACK!_

"OWWW! Screw that pride shit. Lovetap me!" Bull said in a deep bellow. "LOVETAP ME!"

"Hah!" But Varric ignored him and just kept right on swinging for home. Every swat served to satisfy a deep-seated urge he'd been harboring for ages to punish the hulking, cocksure, and gregarious brute. And Bull's ass rapidly turned from brownish gray to a deep, rosy red under the licks. All as he gasped, twisted, and eventually even writhed over the surface of the desk.

"AAARGGHH! Alright! Ow, shit! Bianca! SHIT! BIANCA!" Iron Bull jumped up from the desk, hands rushing to grab his ass. Varric lowered the paddle and let him hop around, feverishly rubbing his rump. The sight would've been comical for any man, but on Iron Bull it was downright hysterical. Varric chuckled.

"So Bull, need any more or have you learned your lesson?"

"Oh! No, sir! No, I've had enough!" Bull said quickly. Then he winced. He'd just called Varric "sir", and he could see the dwarf's smile widening. He knew he'd probably never live that down. He coughed. "No, no I've learned." He stood awkwardly, massaging his glutes. Then he lowered his voice. "Hey uhh, just don't tell the Chargers about this, yeah? I joke around with them, but they still expect a certain level of menace from me. Or uh..." His voice dropped even lower, to a husky whisper. "Don't tell the Inquisitor either, alright?"

"Sure, Bull," Varric answered graciously. "Your secret is safe with me." After all, he could afford to be gracious now. He'd definitely 'won' this encounter, and would doubtless be replaying the paddling in his mind several times a night for the foreseeable future. He let the big horned guy dress back up then exit the room, wincing and rubbing the seat of his pants with every step.

_At least until the next time we bet!_

And, hanging at his side, the holstered paddle gave a faint greenish glow. Unbeknownst to either party, the paddle actually _was_ an artifact from a previous Age. Long ago, a demon of punishment had been trapped within it—or perhaps it was a spirit of discipline, depending who you asked. Regardless, it'd lain dormant in the dwarven vault for centuries before Varric had picked it up. But now that it'd tasted air—and such a beautifully beefy ass—it was already resolving that Bull's would be far from the last spanking it delivered within this strange new Inquisition.

...But that was a tale for another day.


End file.
